12-Step Decockification Process

by  Sam C. Chan

July 20, 2007

The Chankardian 12-Step Decockification Process

With common cockiness in the way, much time/energy is squandered needlessly. I propose that we all practice this simple process, prior to any discussions, so that we may proceed effectivelydebate and learn in earnest, cooperate and compromise based on merits and mutual benefits.

How It Works:

Think of it as a serenity prayer for preventing futile discussions, due to cockiness of the person you're about to have a dialog with.

It deflates their motivations for personal attacks and forces focus on the issues at hand. Should they persist and violate, they would look like an idiot from the department of redundancy department!

Conceding unconditionally upfront eliminates all distractions in your audience, allowing them to actually concentrate on your points and evaluate solely based on merits, not according to egoistic knee-jerk reactions.

Recite out-loud:
(hint: the other party may simply state: ditto)
  1. I am not as pretty as you.
  2. I don't have nearly your kind of money.
  3. I pale in comparison to your success.
  4. You're more popular and known.
  5. My (wo)manhood* doesn't measure up to yours.
  6. Your toys are fancier than mine.
  7. I am not "the chosen one."
  8. I am quite flawed.
  9. I've been wrong before.
  10. I am not strong & invincible like you.
  11. I don't belong to the sole righteous nation/race
    on earth.
  12. I am just your average  plain-jane-small-penis-flat-chested-comfortable-blingless-non-chosen-sinful-flawed-vincible-sissy-sensible-factual-logical  thinker.

There! I said it. And I mean it, even understand it. Now, let's get down to business. Please enlighten me. But, tell me something usefulnot something I already know and told you.

To summarize: The 12 clauses are: beauty, money, success, popularity, (wo)manhood, bling, superstition, perfection, correctness, invincibility, self-righteous superiority, and thinker. The mediocre minded considers the first 11 attributes vital, and sneer at the last one.

* Many males are still stuck with the 3rd grade kid mentality of "mine is bigger than yours" and feel they need to "prove" that. Some females can be just as cocky, although it's statistically rare due to cultural conditioning in our society.

Are you representing America at its best?
Or America at its ugliest and most laughable?
It's about time you look yourself in the mirror.


  • It's All About The Dials
  • On Mediocrity
  • What In The World Is a Chankardian?
  • Chankardian Glossary
  • Linguistics Proficiency Scale
  • Anatomy of The Romance Cycle