Chankardian Glossary

by  Sam C. Chan
In Chankardianland, we use a lot of private jargons. They all stem from practical and frequent needs. These jargons afford us expediency, precision and privacy.

Over the years, we even evolved to developing an elaborate version of comprehensive lingo for Radio (voice) and Text messaging, complete with custom cipher that can be performed (both encrypt & decrypt) in the head, in near-real-time, and still provides a relatively high level of disguise to the non-experts in cryptography.

As I "declassify" each private jargon (because I couldn't resist the urge to "leak" it out by using it in an article), I'll add them here. Of course, 99% of our actual practical codes and jargons will remain private. Only a few of the casual, goofy ones will ever be listed.

... amounts to a large heap of fecal matters
Typical Chankardian speaks, as an "eloquent" version of a common expression to sneer at something for being worthless nonsense.

I remain your not-so-humble servant
Twisted version of Shakespearian speaks, modified to account for the fact that in Chankardian thinking, an unconditionally humble servant is considered an assakyssa, and therefore self-serving, dishonest and frown upon.

A decidedly "low class" and rebellious way of saying sycophant.

the Aspulla Brigade
A group of aspullas, who speak with a fork tongue, give nonsensical responses, due to diabolical agenda or sheer ineptitude. It's an allusion to the dark cavity from which they retrieve most of their answers.

Sum Ting Wong
Name of a fictitious person, or
A charming way to say "something's wrong" avec l'accent chinois

BAMS: Below Average Monkey Score
There are many subjects in which majority of the people will inevitably
consistently pick the exact wrong answers in a multiple-choice questionnaire, resulting in a near-zero score, worse than random answers. This consistency is due to pervasive misconceptions, through misinformation and disinformation. History and sciences are perfect examples, among the U.S. populace. This phenomenon occurs in every non-trivial topic among IT practitioners.

high viscosity

Usage: 1. In light of his high viscosity, I shall refrain from any further debate.
2. This goes to show that his viscosity is right up there with volcanic lava.

Note: In science, viscosity is the property of a fluid that resists the force tending to cause the fluid to flow. In plain English: high viscosity = "thick."

50% donkey work
Usage:  Will you go whole hog, or just turn in a 50% donkey work?

PAW: Perspective, Allegiance, Wisdom
Such are the foundations of decent human beings. Lacking of worldly PAW, or merely excessive disparity among the 3 elements, would inevitably lead one to resort to atrocities and destructions, often unwittingly.
Usage:   My (PAW) transcend cultural & national bounds.    [7.7.07 Open Letter]

BST: blood, sweat & tears
Chankardian often refer to BST, believed to be the core ingredients of every meaningful endeavor. We recognize the BST involved in everything that others performed. Note that in the normal course of IT operations, where hardware is concern, blood takes on literal meaning, not metaphorical. Cuts and other injuries are fairly common.

GEBEGood-Egg/Bad-Egg test
Generally known as litmus test, or acid test, to a normal person. My wacky name is an allusion to Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory (1971: starring Gene Wilder), where the inspiration came from.

His majesty is in fact au naturel
Translation: The emperor has no clothes!    See also: Haiku Playground

FUBAR: Failed Utterly Beyond Any Revamping
Our sanitized version of the military jargon. The original version is along the line of "foul" up beyond all repairs.   Interestingly, a variant spelled "foobar" has been circulating in programmer circles. In sample codes, it's customary for the user to enter "foo" and the program will respond with "bar" and so on...